It was an overall much more impactful experience than I’d expected for myself. I wasn’t sure if it would really help me with the struggles I’d had, but I went in with hope that it might help. And it did.
Meditation was new to me but I stuck with the home practice assignments and felt good for it. I learned from others who said that when they had started meditation they didn’t see the point but then kept it up as they thought it would be good for them. I kept that same mantra in my head during the course where I could. ‘Keep going because it’s good for me’.
About 4 weeks into the course I experienced a stressful experience which through me off meditation as I was too agitated by my situation and too pre-occupied with processing it that I couldn’t bring myself to be still and meditate. The thoughts would be too strong. I did still do some of the home practice but just not all. But in one sense I am glad I went through this difficult time during the course as when I discussed with Sebastian and the group, it was accepted and deemed normal.
The fact that I was aware of it was important. And falling off the band wagon didn’t mean I couldn’t get back on. And I did get back on. And it wasn’t always easy but I kept going. I was determined to do what was good for me even if I didn’t always ‘feel like it’.