Understanding Male Issues
As a male counsellor Sebastian has worked with hundreds of men for over two decades, individually 1:1 and in men’s groups. Sebastian brings both professional training and lived cultural insight to male issues of modern life.
His work integrates mindfulness, Internal Family Systems, and practical strategies to help men reconnect with themselves and others.
By naming and addressing your challenges directly, Sebastian creates a bridge between your inner healing and how to practically manage every-day external demands.
What burdens men in general
The Hidden Struggles of Men
Men across the world carry silent burdens: loneliness, stress at work and strain at home. Many feel unhappy in relationships, wrestle with unhealthy lifestyles or battle anxiety and depression. These challenges are rarely spoken about openly, yet they shape daily life and relationships profoundly.
Relational Wounds and Identity
For countless men, unresolved father wounds, divorce grief or questions of masculinity and identity weigh heavily. Without safe spaces to process these experiences, men often suppress emotions, leading to disconnection from themselves and others.
Feeling Trapped, Not living your Potential
Many men carry a quiet sense of being stuck, working harder yet feeling further from the life they once imagined. The pressure to provide, perform and stay strong leaves little room to admit doubt, exhaustion or unfulfilled dreams.
Over time, this can build into frustration, low-mood and unhelpful coping mechanisms, slowly eroding the confidence and direction they need to live fully.
Specific male challenges in Asia
Sebastian has worked with hundreds of male and female children of first‑gen immigrants, Asian expats and mixed‑culture couples. Married to a Hongkong‑Chinese woman for two decades, he understands some of the cultural and societal challenges from the inside.
Cultural and Societal Pressures
In Asia, men face unique challenges shaped by cultural expectations. Masculine discipline and hyper‑competitiveness can push men into relentless cycles of achievement, often at the cost of emotional health. The tension between honne and tatemae (true feelings vs. social façade; 本音と建前) often prevents men from expressing vulnerability. Many feel trapped between personal authenticity and the need to maintain appearances in family, workplace and society.
Isolation and Emotional Distance
Male isolation is paradoxically exacerbated by not enough space, little alone time and few healthy outlets. Men often find themselves emotionally distant in friendships and marriages, struggling to share openly.
In many marriages, men feel reduced to material providing, pressured to fulfill the role of financial anchor while their emotional needs remain unseen. This imbalance often creates distance and resentment within the relationship.
Generational Trauma and Filial Piety
Generational wounds, such as father‑son trauma or toxic parenting, leave lasting imprints on self‑worth and relationships. Upbringing with emotional neglect, abuse and control (Tiger‑parenting; Doku‑oya 毒親 — “toxic parents”) often results in men who carry deep shame, fear of failure, and difficulty trusting intimacy.
Filial piety (孝) adds another layer: the duty to honour parents can conflict with personal growth, leaving men torn between loyalty and self‑expression.
Mindful Men’s Groups
“A men’s group is a place outside your usual circles. It is also a place to learn and practice mindfulness with a focus on relationships at large and self-awareness in particular”
Joining a men’s group is a powerful way of getting to know yourself better. It is also a place to skilfully give and receive valuable feedback as the group grows closer.
Men have a great power of understanding and being understood by other men. This group aims at eliminating distraction and competition and provides greater ease in sharing personal issues and insights.
“The Mindful Men Group offered a unique escape from the usual stressful work and social life particularly in Hong Kong. Under Sebastians thoughtful facilitation a trusted group of friends was formed. A journey towards increased self awareness and ownership while also receiving practical and relevant advice. Time truly well spent!”
Paul, Consultant
Men’s Group Focus
Each group cultivates self-leadership – shifting the focus from managing external systems to integrating our internal systems.
By stepping out of auto-pilot we detect parts in us that oftentimes seem undervalued or taken for granted. Skilfully offering our best energy to forge strong bonds within and around likeminded men.
Participation
The upcoming group welcomes men going through or having gone through divorce; this in order to maximise cohesion and traction.
The target group size is 8 men.
Schedule & Registration
The next group will be an Asia-wide group on Zoom. It is planned to start in September 2026 for 5 consecutive weeks.
Please get in touch with Sebastian to secure your participation!
“The men’s group has provided me with an excellent opportunity to cultivate self-awareness and accountability in daily life. Honest weekly conversations with committed peers – and just the right amount of professional guidance – remind me how much other men share my deepest concerns. We are able to cut through the bullshit and get to the truth about who we are and what we want out of life.”
Thomas Vinton, American Musician and Educator
Benefits
- Increasing & improving SELF leadership
- Expanding clarity: roles, relationships and unfinished business
- Feeling more embodied and self-aware
- Learning mindful strategies to express and process emotion
- Cultivating qualities of self-leadership: curiosity, compassion, calm, connectedness and confidence
Sebastian
Sebastian has worked with hundreds of men and facilitates men’s groups since 2010. Participants will benefit from his smooth guidance, therapeutic inputs and experienced choice of practices.
The program will draw from Sebastian’s training in Mindfulness-based Cognitive Training and Internal Family Systems amongst others. Find out more about Sebastian’s background and education!
The mindful men’s group provided me a space to share, explore and develop ideas about living well. It was not only supportive and uplifting, but useful on many levels. I’d recommend it without hesitation.
Ben L, Market Maker
I looked forward to our weekly meetings. Each session was challenging, revealing and uplifitng and helped me to better understand myself and those around me. Most importantly, the sessions were fun and engaging. Highly recommended.
Scott, Lawyer
“I joined the Mindful Men group without really knowing what to expect and I enjoyed every single moment of it. This was a unique experience allowing me to take breaks from HK crazy life and to share my personal challenges in a totally safe, respectful and fun environment. Sebastian gathered a group from all different backgrounds, with so much to learn from each other and yet having a lot in common. I already miss our group sessions but have met some great men to keep in touch with… I totally recommend the experience.”
Pascal D.
I have participated in both of the last two men’s groups with Sebastian and returned because of the level comradery I’ve experienced. Under Sebastian’s guidance, it’s great to meet guys who are both so similar, yet so different, to me in many ways, and find common ground as we explore the challenges we face in life. It’s the kind of meaningful conversation you don’t ordinarily find just hanging out with mates at a pub, and something I feel is sorely lacking in today’s society, not just between men, but between fellow humans as a whole.
Steve, 42
In my experience, us men were not raised to open to each other about deep issues we face. We lost in modern times the concept of tribe, and randomness doesn’t always allow us to build one that is truly supportive. As a result, we walk alone in many key parts of our lives.
This is a blind spot. There is nothing like the advice of a trusted fellow man to cut through the rationalizations we imprison ourselves in. And one of the greatest gifts we can give in return is to help our male friends be equally honest to themselves.
I found in Sebastian’s groups a forum to meet other men interested in their personal development and a common drive to support each other in many challenges we face. It is a safe space to expose our trials without judgment and find a friendly ear. Also, a place to apply our judgment and unique views to advice others, while learning how to do so with mindfulness and respect.
Basically this group is a starting point for us who value developing a positive and healthy masculinity. One based on ownership of one’s thoughts and beliefs, awareness of our position in life, and kindness to others. Welcome to the men’s tribe.
G.I.
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