Category: Mindfulness

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Micro-pollution of the mind. How it causes negativity and poor performance

What are micro-stresses and how do they affect you?

Micro-stresses are the abundance of minor annoyances and small adversities we experience throughout the day. The driver who cuts you off in traffic, the colleague who slows down your time-sensitive assignment, the broken coffee machine that messes with your refreshment pause.

Each occurrence on it’s own does not seem like a big deal. It’s the accumulation that weighs on you like a stein-holding contest. Added up, they are a whole lot of straws resting on the proverbial camel’s back. They are often the reason we’re exhausted at the end of the day (in HBR. July 2020) or why we will snap at the most minor of inconveniences.

In this short read you will learn that micro-stresses only get to you if you let them and what you can do to develop a teflon-skin from which stressors just roll off.

Why “micro” and not “macro“?

While macro stress manifests more directly and instantly, micro stress will nibble at your subconscious over a prolonged period. Wearing you down bit by bit until you feel overwhelmed by the sheer weight of it all. Managing these micro stresses could be the key to unlocking a heightened sense of worth.

There are many facets to the world of micro-stress. One aspect is purely psychological: how we interpret actions, how we manage situations, and how we will dwell on minor irritations. The link between both is Emotion.

“The salient stressors in the lives of most human beings today — at least in the industrialised world — are emotional. Just like laboratory animals unable to escape, people find themselves trapped in lifestyles and emotional patterns inimical to their health.“

― Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress

But this only represents half of the story. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is also paramount to overall wellbeing. A healthy level of diet and exercise will have a doubling effect on mental health. These activities promote and maintain overall health and create a fulfilling feeling of achievement, which goes a long way when dealing with stress of any kind. 

The effects of stress on overall health

Stress plays a massive part in our overall mental welfare, but people often don’t acknowledge its effect on physical health. Many studies have proven stress to cause increased heart rate and blood pressure. It is estimated that stress negatively impacts the lives of up to 85% of the population, and 60-80% of all doctor visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints.

In strong cases, stress can manifest as panic attacks, paranoia and poor mental health along with a weakened immune system. And more frequently than you may realise, unmanaged stress can lead to physical burnout.

How to train yourself to deal with micro stress

The first step to dealing with micro-stress, is identifying and acknowledging its existence. Due to the sheer volume of micro-stresses, some studies claim that we are on the receiving end of between 20 and 30 micro-stressful situations on any given day. We can analyse these occurrences, determine the common factors and learn how and when to disengage when we encounter them. 

A helpful habit is to halt what you’re doing and gather yourself for a moment or just a few seconds. As micro-stresses impact our daily lives, then conversely, micro-affirmations can have a positive effect. Small pauses can have big impacts.

Engage in short activities that generally induce a calming effect on your personality. Everyone has their preferred method. Standard practices include listening to calming music, taking a walk, or practicing some simple breathing exercises.

The important factor is to take a break from what you are doing. If you work in an office environment, get away from that screen. Set a timer if you need to. Get up and stretch, take in some nature if possible, or talk to a friend—but avoid any topics that generally get you riled up.

Conclusion

Micro-stresses are NOT a genuine problem endemic to today’s society, even though it is impossible to prevent them altogether. The stress only arises within our SELF (after all the coffee machine is not stressed at all about it’s poor performance) and we can adopt several ways to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

Amongst those ways are mindful attitudes like kindness, acceptance and patience. Moreover, it is essential to respect and listen to your body, feelings and emotions: maintain a healthy diet, regularly engage in physical activities and work on getting a good night’s sleep. 

“We no longer sense what is happening in our bodies and cannot therefore act in self-preserving ways. The physiology of stress eats away at our bodies not because it has outlived its usefulness but because we may no longer have the competence to recognise its signals.“

― Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress
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Hotel Q(uarantine) – The emotional hardship of 21 days has sailed

counselling soul

The broad window in my Sigh-ing Pun* hotel boasts a great harbor view. I often sit on the broad windowsill watching the busy waterways between Hong Kong Island and Kowloon. It strikes me how fast and lineal some of the ferries plough through the waves. Sailing boats are rarer and more interesting to look at.

Some sail more smoothly than others. All find the same conditions, but some clearly master what they come across with more skill than their fellow travellers. They artfully hold the vessel steady and gain momentum in the elements – independent of size or shape. 

Understanding emotional meteorology

I wonder how I can keep a stable course throughout my journey of 21 days. Like the solo sailors who conquer an ocean – always fearing to capsize on a whale – I am afraid to drown on account of the inert mass of my body and mind. The Highs and Lows of my internal weather have frequently interfered with the moral compass.

Any emotion can be used to gather way. I can even sail against the wind at a pointed angle. It’s not going to be fun, but it can be done. I knew that I will face sunny days, stormy, rainy and calms. Part of my self-care was to allow any weather to arise without fighting it. Accepting the fronts to pass.

Key to survival is a sound sense of the elements. A ship sails better with the wind and the water, not against it. I am well advised to feel the breezes of my mood and to detect and accept the undercurrents of my emocean. But how? How can I bear gusts of anger when I read the news? The spray of unfairness, like a slap in the face?

Using what you have aboard

When I feel the elements getting at me, as best I can, I try to decenter and defuse from thoughts and reactions that appear in my mind. I do so by shifting attention away from myself and towards things I am grateful for, feel joyful about or just to things that are more relevant to my life right now, like helping people with my work as a counsellor in Hong Kong.  

I was grateful for being greeted by the frigate of HK admin, operating smoothly as usual. Holding up a massive pandemic undertaking seamlessly with solid organisation and politeness. Thank you to all the people working day and night to keep our normal life going – efficient at the airport, caring at the hotel and the jolly-friendly testing staff – in particular on NYE!!!

Alternatively, I bring back the focus of attention to my body and expand awareness from head to toe. Connecting with any sensations in my body helps to feel what is already there, honing in on pain, tension, heartbeat, heat and the breath. With the awareness of feeling I settle in with the here and now. Being fully present with the elements, the emotional weather – outside and inside.

“So maybe that’s what all that advice to live in the present moment is getting at: If you can invest more attention in the sensory world than in your narrative overlaying it, you might identify the former, rather than the latter, to be what’s true.”

Drake Baer 2017 thecut.com

Balance is important, intention is paramount

Balancing ourselves becomes easier when we know how we steer, what our sails are and where, understanding which ropes to hold tight and where to best place us and our crew in order to keep gliding steadily. I remain agile by moving around from bathroom to desk, from bed to window ledge and from yoga mat to the door.

Only by actively handling the pushes and pulls of the elements, can we stabilise the boat. Drifting is never an option, unless we do it on purpose (aka sober). Daydreaming can be positive-constructive, whereas the shallows look guilty-dysphoric or with poor attentional control.

We can choose different modes when sailing through life. We can cruise having pleasure in mind, we can be competitive in Regatta-mode having winning in mind or we can set sail having a destination in mind. It helps me to know what I am sailing for. My motivation is the mastery of navigation in order to arrive at shores I thought I could not reach. Competing only with myself.

*Sai Ying Pun intended!

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Awareness of Breathing. The antidote to living in our heads.

This is a guided awareness of breathing practice. The intention is to become aware of the tactile sensations of breathing from moment to moment: Paying attention and noticing the breath in movement and in stillness. This formal sitting practice can be done sitting on the floor, a mat, a cushion, a meditation bench or a chair.

The meditation provides an internal focus for attention. The breath and the body – as well as other foci – can be developed as an anchor to the present in the ocean of moving attention. Bringing back attention on purpose and moment-to-moment – gently and without judging. Perhaps noticing where attention has been pulled.

The breath as a symbol and direct experience of the arising and passing of all. The antidote to living in our heads. Helping to develop a skillset to detect the movement of attention – often triggered by obstacles and situations – as well as seeing reality as a construct and lastly to train the attentional muscle in holding a focus and bringing it back to the focus.

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Guided Bodyscan Meditation

Going into a guided body scan meditation. Holding the intention to explore sensations in the body as they arise. Doing so by placing and moving attention throughout the body.

Guided Bodyscan Meditation MBCT

“… Taking a few moments to settle in. Lying down on your back on the floor, on a mat or on a bed. Or allowing yourself to sit up on a chair or a cushion if that is more available to you.

Bringing attention to the body where it makes contact. Perhaps noticing sensations of pressure, heaviness, lightness or no sensation.

Bringing awareness to the entire body: front, back, to the sides and everything between. Maybe feeling calmness, tension, ease or restlessness. The task is simply to notice and pay attention to the body as it is – right now, in this moment.

Now bringing attention to Breathing. Wherever the breath presents itself most dominantly, most vividly. Making this the focus of your attention.

On an out breath, now letting the breath reside in the background and on an in breath moving attention to the back, the sides and the top of the head. Noticing any body sensations as they present themselves here. Sensations can be warmth, dryness, tingling, heaviness or pressure. You may notice to register a blank, no sensation or numbness. Then simply noticing that.

Whenever attention is being pulled, the mind wanders – noticing where it went and then gently escorting it back to the focus. Here, the back, the sides and the top of your head.

…

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One Mind, Two Systems

Gaining insight in troubled times with Paul Loomans’ Time Surfing

Paul Loomans’ Zen approach to keeping time on your side is a refreshing and reassuring read with an unconventional perspective on time management. Unfortunately the unhandy landscape format, which might have been chosen to underline the unconventionality of the book, does not contribute to keep itself on your side.

This easy to read guidebook written addresses modern life time pressures and how to better deal with them. Loomans unfolds his own seven steps method that anchors in intuition and empowers readers to drop lists and other structured approaches.

The author differentiates between two systematically different approaches to managing your time. The first one is the accelerated, fast paced DOING that manages life with our heads. The second one is the slower paced, reflecting SENSING that comes from within us.

The last part of the book is dedicated to very practical applications in everyday life: understanding procrastination and deadlines; handling email mindfully, being master or servant of your smartphone and others.

I like a lot that his approach really is an alternative to the “getting things done” (GTD) and time management paradigms, which all proclaim more of the same. Namely that you can get things done by gathering tasks, detailing tasks and by then organizing them using tools and apps.

Contrary to this, the zen monk lays out how your experiencing self is able to manage your day, your personal as well as your work matters by cultivating intuition. Wait! Before your inner voice now goes off and says things like “oh well, intuition – that’s just an umbrella term for wishy-washy”, try to take this in:

“It is about using feelings and the awareness of how you relate to tasks in order to get them done. That is entirely different from letting lists determine your life!”

Remember the title “Time SURFING”? so don’t forget that it is all about the ride. There is no ride without a sense of ease and confidence. Without those whatever you do, soon becomes a bad trip. Use lists not to determine what you have to do, but as checklists to help you not to forget things. Your sense of ease will increase over time.

The house of love (Loomans calls it The four storey house) has a basement where our emotions live. Emotions are our bodies ancient, yet extraordinarily relevant communication system permanently transmitting signals from underneath. They can guide us to come to terms with whatever arises.

Background programs are rumination and worry we carry and accumulate in a day, a week or for months on end. Much like too many apps open on your phone or computer these programs eat into your capacity to function and hence bring your performance down. Address the emotional message of each background program. Not the content.

With regard to Deadlines he describes the unhealthy pattern of the procrastination monster: chronicle stress due to relying on your body’s survival system might in the short run help you to get things done and to deliver, but it does so in CLOSED state of mind and body.

Paying attention to transitions from project to project and to how to start a new project with an OPEN attitude allows us to surf time smoothly rather than paddle it gruffly.

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Brexit Yoga: Feel the stretch

Mindful Movement practices allow us to bring awareness to body experience in stillness and in motion. Take a few minutes out of your hectic schedule to indulge in a spot of yoga with a difference. Make sure you work within your limitations. Please decide for yourself how far you can go and step out of the practice if pain becomes overwhelming.

Let me introduce you to Brexit Yoga, an unnervingly accurate summary of the delicate political situation in the UK told through a soothing yoga class. It will make you smile!

Is there a serious message to be learnt? Yes, we think there’s something here that can be applied to our everyday lives. Movement is a wonderful way to anchor yourself in the present moment. Whilst this yoga class was designed with humour and pokes a bit of fun at the current trendiness of yoga, it does demonstrate that by slowing down and moving intentionally, you can bring a calm to any situation.

The ancient practice of yoga aligns breath, body and mind with the movements and poses acting as vehicles to direct attention to inner experience remaining aware of the outside world, taking you deeper into meditation and being more mindful of your actions.

What benefits does yoga and mindfulness have?

Both practices have been linked to a huge range of health benefits, both physical and psychological. As well as the obvious fitness benefits of yoga, like increased core strength and flexibility. Yoga and mindfulness may also help increase levels of serotonin and lower cortisol levels, as shown in a 2014 study at the University of Wisconsin by Richard Davidson, PhD Center for Healthy Minds (Front. Psychol., 24 October 2014). Mindful Movement is part and parcel of the successful standard Mindfulness programs such as Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction and Mindfulness-based Cognitive Training (MBCT).

So, what does this means for you? You may find yourself feeling happier and dealing with stress better by simply allowing yourself to connect with the present moment. The present holds rich information about what is going on in and around you. In Body, Mind, Emotion and Behaviour.

Ultimately, making time to take a yoga class or a mindful break is making time for self-care. Whether you’re mulling over a serious topic, or worrying about your children, you can use the concept of the Brexit Yoga to slow down your movements, pause and be mindful of you next move, whether that be a yoga pose, a difficult discussion, or making the choice to spend quality time with your family. Whatever it is, you’ll be taking a step in the right direction.

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Improve your emotional balance in the New Year!

You can improve your emotional balance in the New Year by joining the MBCT program in a boutique group setting.
Pig practice in yoga
There are 2 slots left to join Sebastian’s Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) program in February.
This solidly composed program was particularly designed for people who know themselves having periods of depressed mood, downward spirals of anxiety and recurring negative thinking patterns.
Mindfulness-based programs have become more and more popular and are often held in large spaces with a mass atmosphere. However, I will keep the group size below 10 participants for a more boutique-like learning.
Please register asap.

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Flow and open awareness – Do we need it?

Does flow equal mindfulness?
Is flow the ultimate mindfulness champion?
Where is the open awareness in flow?
When teaching mindfulness I often come across the question if a very focused mind is the same as a mind in flow experience OR if flow is the advancement of focus?
Flow as perpetual motion machine (Perpetuum Mobile)
According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Professor of Psychology and Management, Flow is the a state of mind in which we are fully concentrated on the present, that happens outside of everyday reality. It involves knowing of the task at hand and the ability to monitor how well we are doing, knowing that our skills are adequate. It furthermore comes with a sense of serenity and timelessness – no worries and a feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of the ego. Ultimately, whatever produces flow becomes it’s own reward.
Mindfulness Meditation converges into Flow
Dr. Brewer – see podcast below – says that Mindfulness coverges into Flow like be a progressed state of meditation on the same continuum. Meditative states can have very focused attention – that depends on how you meditate.

Running down a trail can have a very single-pointed attention, but it can also have much broader awareness – taking in and connecting with more detail. Depending on the speed you are going, you simply might not be able to be aware of birds chirping or other things in your environment that you would be easily aware of at a slower pace.

In flow there will be much more clarity of direction and blending in with your surroundings in a sense of oneness.
The Aperture of Awareness in Flow
In a more general view, in flow there is open awareness of whatever is arising. “I am wondering if the aperture narrows or broadens as the conditions dictate – more so than flow being defined as a narrower or broadened state.” Staying in the photography analogy this means that we are naturally losing depth of field the faster paced our flow activity is becoming.
This leads to me understanding FLOW at a higher level. Taking the aperture and depth of field analogy into account, any flow experience then must mean to be an experience with more potent sensors (i.e. higher amount of megapixels, sharper lenses, better image stabilisation, etc.).
Practicing Mindfulness and Meditation then becomes the path to more potent senses altogether – broadening and sharpening the access to our human faculty.
Judson Brewer on Flowstate Podcast
While writing this blog, more questions arose that I intend to address further down the road:
Is flow the same for masculine and feminine energy and polarity?
Are trips on psychedelic drugs flow states?
Is flow the same as purpose in life?
How selfish am I acting while dissolving my self in a flow activity?
ref: https://itunes.apple.com/hk/podcast/tfpp-flowstate-collective/id1049563447?l=en&mt=2&i=1000414046379

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Spoken Retreat, non-silent non-smoking

After many years of attending shorter and longer silent retreats, I came across an invitation to a spoken retreat and spontaneously registered myself because I was curious to find out what to expect. The brochure said “A spoken retreat follows the structure and format of most silent retreats with the main exception being, that the participants are strongly encourage to verbalise their minds!” Needless to say, each of the participants had to attend a short intake interview by phone and was then provided all details and instructions via an audio-file sent by email.

“All participants are strongly encouraged to express themselves verbally at all times – being on their own or with others.”

SPEAKING BY YOURSELF
As best you can put your mind’s inner commentary into words. Speak out loud what you think as often and as long as you can stay focused. Whenever you fall into silence, congratulate yourself and gently bring back the tone of your voice. Experiment with tonality, melody and volume. When your mind fatigues, start to speak to yourself and with yourself. Do it with kindness. Talk about anything you like or dislike – things you want or need to do and all the things you don’t want to do. Follow through with each train of thought arguing with yourself vigorously to dissect where your preferences and action tendencies come from and what they are based on.
SPEAKING TO OTHERS
In this retreat we cultivate speaking “to” rather than “with” others. Speaking to others means that we encourage you to speak about yourself, revealing some of your moment-to-moment awareness with each statement. Do not ask questions. If you feel the urge to ask a questions, perhaps you can work your way around it. Say “I wonder how you feel today?” Or “I am so anxious standing next to you, that I want to overcome my sense of awkwardness by asking you if you like the vegetarian food.”
THE SPOKEN RETREAT DIALOGUE
Use “I statements” as best you can. Repeat what your counterpart said and then add your own observation of the world and yourself. Example: The other person says “I like how green the gras is here.” You say “You like how green the gras is. I went to the other side this morning and found that it is even greener there.” And so on.
THE SPOKEN RETREAT GROUP CONVERSATION
Similar to the Spoken Retreat Dialogue (R), the Spoken Retreat Group Conversation was developed to increase the depth and richness of the retreat experience. When one group member makes an “I statement” all other group members need to repeat the statement and then make a judging comment based on their own view and experience. Which then in turn is again repeated by each group member. Smaller groups are preferable here for obvious reasons.
MEDITATIONS
Mindful Talking. Choose any thought that comes up in your mind and speak it, out loud. Again and again. Let’s say your thought is “I wish Arsenal wins anything this season”. Try as best you can to fully concentrate on that though and speak it out loud to yourself again and again. Slowly savouring every word. Enquire into each syllable, each word, the sound, the way you produce it, the meaning – of each word, of parts of the sentence, of the whole sentence. Find words with the same meaning for each word in the sentence: “I, myself, me, self, …”; “Wish, desire, want, aspire, crave, …”. When your mind gets distracted – for example by thinking of another football club like Middlesborough for example – say “Thinking, Thinking, Thinking” and bring your attention gently back to your phrase. If your mind drifts to images – say your favorite players holding a cup on a presentation ceremony – say “Imagining, Imagining, Imagining” and then bring back your attention gently and with kindness to your sentence. Take a fresh interest in your sentence and continue your mindful talking. If you notice any feelings arising such as warmth, fuzziness or hatred – say “Feeling, Feeling, Feeling”.
Take it from here!