Category: Couples Counselling
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Couples Counselling or Individual Therapy or Both?
In this article Sebastian sheds some light on the decision making between couples counselling and individual therapy. Each service has specific advantages and is in some cases more suitable than the other.
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Is a “healing separation” the same as a “relationship detox”?
Some couples are genuinely invested in their loving long-term commitment, but get pulled into mutual suffocation, disappointment and poisonous energy that often also bleeds into family and friends. Like a nuclear power plant without control rods, their reacting comes dangerously close to overheating and disaster.
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Relationship Trauma. Reliving your parents’ issues.
Witnessing a parent being unfaithful can be deeply traumatic for a child and still later on for the then adult. …seeing actions as selfish, with suspicion and anxiety …
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When couples decide to break up, separate or divorce
Interesting article on SCMP regarding couples counselling and how partners can heal and move on after infidelity has damaged trust and stability in a long-term relationship.
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Borderline-Narcissistic Couples – why so much drama and attraction?
Personality disorders occur along psychological dimensions. A person can rank higher or lower along various dimensions. For example, on the dimension of SPONTANEITY one can rank from boringly / routine-like sticking to plans to being overly impulsive and unpredictable in their next actions. There is no clear cut to decide if someone is spontaneous or…
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Couples Skill Building with Alain De Botton
Here is a nice read . For 200 Hong Kong Dollar I bought Alain De Botton’s latest Novel and found it entertaining, therapeutic and insightful. Well worth a read for anyone in a committed relationship with many references to marital counselling, relationship skill building and couples therapy. De Botton describes a marriage over the course…
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COUPLEMENTARY episode three
Previously on couplementary: HE wanted to bring up his dissatisfaction with her and expected some sort of an acknowledgement. HE yielded HER anger and the situation escalated. Usually when we achieve the opposite of what we intended, we get annoyed. Very annoyed. From the outside and with a little distance these are often situations that…
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COUPLEMENTARY episode two
Previously on couplementary: In episode one we started to follow HIM into a scene in which HE feels repeatedly falsely accused by HER within a short time span. What now unfolds is the signature version of their infinity loop of unhelpful emotional interaction. It is really unfortunate for the two that HIS coffee arrived first…
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COUPLEMENTARY episode one
My target as an emotion-focused therapist for couples is to find out and define the signature “dance” of each couple I am working with. With regard to relationship issues it does not matter if I am working with both partners or if I am seeing an individual. The approach in Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) remains…
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Sebastian on Brexit
Relationship breakups are never happy, easy and seldom quick. Most breakups instill emotional pain in both partners – no matter who triggered it and who was struck. The process of separation follows a wave-lines of emotional, physical and communicational intensity – oscillating between distancing and closeness. In breakups where one partner decides to move on…