Sebastian works with couples who want to regain happiness, increase trust and deepen their bond and intimacy. He applies the latest science of attachment theory, psychobiology and neuroscience to improve relationships.
Sebastian’s clients want to work on issues that have built up over longer periods of time or may have occurred as a sudden change. Any crisis in and around a couple puts strain and hurt on partners and spouses. Couples learn evidence-based skills and improve their connection through mutual growth and understanding.
Sebastian’s therapeutic support helps both partners to understand the full magnitude of what happened and to gain insight from various perspectives on any marriage issue and relationship challenges. Furthermore, it brings to light the basis of your being together and the damage caused.
Couples often get in touch with him, when they find themselves …
- reliving similar fights or difficult conversations over and over
- communicating badly – including not talking about sexual intimacy
- facing the loss of connection and intimacy
- accumulating disappointment, alienation and resentments
- feeling hurt, betrayed or mistrusted
- echoing trauma and emotional injuries
- wanting to rekindle their bond and rediscover their future together
- transitioning in and out of Hong Kong
- crossing over changes and phases in life
The target of couples counselling is to build trust, to develop emotional safety and to teach sustainable communication skills that shield and solidify the unity of your relationship. In order to enhance your communication and to reduce stressful arguments and frustrating quarrels, Sebastian will typically guide you through a three stages process.
His ambition is for you to develop the ability to identify where and how you get stuck. In addition, you will learn what to do and not to do in order to overcome your marital or relationship problems and to return quickly to a smooth and healthy living. Ultimately, you will be able to handle challenges together as a couple on a higher level of understanding.
Sebastian’s training in couples therapy approaches is comprehensive and adaptive. He has trained extensively in the latest approaches for couples, based on neuroscience and attachment theory. Scientific evidence has shown that approaches like Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT by Dr. Sue Johnson) and Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT by Dr. Stan Tatkin), which focus on the partners’ experiences, are most successful with sustainable results.
“Our first year in Hong Kong was challenging for each of us individually, and the stress of dealing with our own challenges left us little energy to work on our relationship. We tried and tried but felt stuck. After trying to deal with these difficulties on our own, the frustration drove us to seek for help. Sebastian helped us learn how to express our emotions clearly to each other, and therefore to find where lies the difficulty. He helped us communicate better and understand each other better.
We both became more aware of each other’s emotional needs, and therefore the communication became gentler and smoother, which left us more time and energy to just enjoy each other. After several sessions with Sebastian in a couple of months’s time, we felt the great change in our relationship. Before, we spent lots of our time and energy to “deal with” or “solve” things in our relationship, now we spend them on loving and enjoying together.
Thank you so much for helping us learn and improve as partners and lovers – every hour with you had paid off big time.”
Ayana & Nave
“Although we all agree in principle that our partners have their own points of view and their own valid perceptions, at the emotional level we are reluctant to accept this simple truth.” H. Hendrix – Getting the love you want.