Most of the couples I work with do get better, because they develop a new skill set of communication. After a few sessions partners often start to find themselves to be much more attuned with each other. The reason being a deeper emotional understanding.
It often happens that one of the partners is a little bit more keen to come to counselling than the other. I am there to balance both interests and to explore both views since we have two sides in each couple. Each partner having specific and individual backgrounds and behavioural patterns.
The process of Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT) is structured in three stages. This evidence-based process of relationship and marriage counselling helps to develop step by step and is based on an easy-to-understand yet profound model of attachment theory.
Once you have established the first and second stage through the therapy process it becomes much easier and likely to solve issues that in fact all couples will be facing one way or another throughout a lifetime.
In the first stage I assess in depth where both partners get stuck, what their signature dance is when life becomes stressful or things get heated. Ultimately we need to find out together for each particular couple what hinders them from being happy and loving.
The second stage is really to apply that knowledge and heighten awareness. I will guide each partner on how to best implement what they feel and do into their day to day lives. It is important that the couple becomes able to see and understand what is going on when they “dance” in their own dynamic in order to be able to move on.
In the third stage the couple will be more and more able to fly alone and to use a true understanding for each other and a much deeper connection to address big life topics and issues. For example financial issues, a move or any other crisis. And of course having built or regained a strong positive and loving relationship for everyday life.